Maiden Lane

I look melancholy on Maiden Lane, but looks can be deceiving. I'm actually quite spritely because 1) It's almost time to "fall back" and who doesn't love an extra hour of sleep? 2) The weather has changed and I get to layer all of my favorite Zara pieces with reckless abandon (sweater, parka, purse and coated skinnies all courtesy of Zara) and 3) A pair of brown "leather" boots I scored at Forever 21 last fall have morphed into a miraculously timeless wardrobe staple! I was feeling extra giddy in these pics because I had just spent a solid hour gossiping with my mane man Todd Jeffrey (who tames my big haute hair) at Vidal Sassoon while he worked his magic on the boy's curly tendrils. He's really helped Ry accept his natural texture, and me improve my Real Housewives of Miami impressions-"Nobody beats me to the tweet!" 

When Two Become One

Being a tiny person my whole life, I have always adhered to the adage that good things come in small packages, most likely as a coping mechanism to feel better about the fact that I never grew much past the sixth grade. So, I have decided to condense my admittedly overzealous attempt at styling one striped bodysuit five ways over the course of a single work week, into a shorter and sweeter version of my original plan. I've merged part three and four of my leotard series into one succinct reader friendly summary. I swear I'm not alone in my black and white stripe mania; Marc Jacobs, Oscar de la Renta and J. Crew all featured lined looks on their spring runways. See above (photos courtesy of Harper's Bazaar)

 For me, the American Apparel bodysuit conjures thoughts of Brigitte Bardot in her breton stripes, denim and perfectly rumpled hair, so my twofer of a post is dedicated to that effortless french girl je ne sais quoi. I've paired the striped wonder with my boyfriend jeans for a more casual take on the trend and a chiffon skirt in an attempt to channel the uncomplicated style of french fashionistas. These looks were really fun to shoot even though I fell down the stairs before we started, got run over by the dog midway through and sank three inches into the grass with my heels at the very end. When you are wearing a striped bodysuit the little things just roll right off your bare back.The chiffon skirt is also AA, completely transparent and appeals to my French heritage and strange love of awkward public semi-nudity. I normally stick with sheer shirts but when I saw this skirt I couldn’t resist the chance to appear as if I was wearing something on my lower half when in reality there’s nothing but a thin haze between me and the world. If I were to sport this look out I would wear some sort of bloomers or tights because my leotard has the high cut leg of a Baywatch bathing suit and may garner more disapproving glances than I can handle. The bodysuit/boyfriend jeans pairing is the most wearable ensemble of the bunch. I love how non-existent they make my butt look, something about droopy drawers is so wildly unappealing to men that this is a great look to wear out if you are wanting to deflect any and all male attention. I wore this exact outfit to a floozy Friday night dinner with all my best girlfriends last week and Ryan more than approved of my choice in legwear for the evening- he is a sly one! Tomorrow will be my final post in what was once known as “1 Leotard 5 Ways” but has now become the chronicles of ridic. So much leotard, so little time.

(photos courtesy of Ryan Beren)

bodysuit, chiffon skirt, watch: American Apparel

mary jane wedges: Urban Outfitters

boyfriend jeans, basic heels: Zara

sunglasses: Ray Ban

Beauty Breakdown

This past Saturday, before the bodysuit bonanza began, I decided to partake in my sole form of cardio as of late- shopping. I had reached dangerously low levels of all my favorite beauty products; this alone  is enough to get my heart racing but paired with the rush of adrenaline I get when I enter fine retail establishments I basically broke out in a full blown sweat during my intense Saturday shopping spree. I tricked Ryan into coming with me under the guise of a quick stop at Sephora,  but when I casually made a beeline for the sunglass department at Nordy's he was onto my ulterior motives and none too pleased. The excursion turned into an intense workout of my credit card at multiple locations and a mini-meltdown midway through when Ry just couldn't bear to watch me try on one more pair of sunnies.

  After some deep soul searching I decided upon a pair of oversized Wayfarers that I'm actually obsessed with, the old man brown leather case they come in makes them even more legit and I fully intend to handle them with tender love and care. This may prove to be a daunting task because my last four pairs of sunglasses have been bent, smashed or stepped on by yours truly. 
When I finally did make it to my intended destination, Sephora, I picked up my favorite facial moisturizer, the Wild Rose 24-hour Brightening and Moisturizing Cream from Korres that is simultaneously softness-inducing and delicious smelling. Its like walking into a garden of roses and emerging with a kick-ass complexion, does it get any better than that? I was a little depressed when I discovered that the be all end all of lip plumpers, LipFusion, is no longer carried at Sephora. This gloss is so crazy good it gives you a collagen injection-like pillowy pout without the pain or fear of permanent trout mouth. Alas, I will now and forever be purchasing my LipFusion via the internet, which is probably a good thing considering the strife I caused on this shopping excursion. I have included the links for some of my favorite products below to make scoring some big haute beauty loot easy as can be!
One last stop on my crazy train was at the salon for some big haute hair essentials: Oleo-relax from Kerastase that makes my hair soft as spun silk and tames most of my frizz, Shu Umera Shape Paste to dirty up the 'do and of course Elnett Satin Hairspray- big haute hair's formerly banned BFF. I feel like a new woman now that I'm fully stocked with all my lotions and potions and I've got some sweet shades to shield my peepers from the non-existent San Francisco sun. My shopping frenzy was a total success and although Ry was temporarily peeved with me for my devil-woman trickery he just can't resist my sweet smelling skin and bouncy hair.

 
  ( L'Oréal Paris Elnett Satin Hair Spray - Extra Strength , Fusion Beauty Lipfusion Collagen Lip Plump Blingfusion Limited Edition - Beach Baby - 8.22G/0.29oz, Ray-Ban Original Wayfarer In Black black 54 )

Five Stages of Fashion Week

in mourning

feeling blue...

I am going to be honest, I've been in a mood lately. I have had a serious case of FOMO (fear of missing out) since the onslaught of Fashion Week, because sadly my invitation to all the of the fantastic parties and fabulous fashion shows must have somehow got lost in the mail.  My poor psyche has gone through all five stages of grief while I've mourned the loss of any chance of participating in this year's NYFW. Denial and isolation were first when I entered the Nasty Gal NYFW sweepstakes thinking that was my golden ticket to the big show, but when neither I, nor my BFF, were chosen I wanted to bury my big haute hair in my bed and never come out. The anger came next and with every Instagram update or new post from my favorite fashion blogger chronicling their romp through Fashion Week wonderland I grew increasingly more emo and channeled my inner Naomi Campbell by throwing my iPhone in a fit of blind rage. During my bargaining phase I experienced the normal reaction to my feelings of helplessness and vulnerability with a desperate attempt to regain control– attending Fashion's Night Out in San Francisco.



 I suited up in my newest Zara attire and strutted my stuff to AB Shoes where my boyfriend and his sister were holding an event celebrating FNO at their Union Square shoe store. I figured if I couldn't take part in the the real thing I could re-create some of the magic in my neck of the woods, but this catapulted me into the fourth phase, depression, faster than you can say Maison Martin Margiela. Although I was surrounded by Salvatore Ferragamo and sipping champagne I was NOT in New York and NOT a part of the fashionable phenomena that was taking place on the opposite end of the country. My spirits sank quite low and I completely lost myself in a Rachel Zoe Project marathon which wasn't the best idea considering Skyler Berman had a better wardrobe than I do while in utero.

dog days

After a few days of wallowing, acceptance started to set in and with it came a new wave of inspiration. I channeled my moodiness into a positive outlet for my fashion fury, a complete submersion in the September issue of Vogue and the creation of my very first mood board! I defamed the fashion bible by cutting out my favorite looks from Valentino, Tibi, Dolce and Gabanna, and Mulberry and constructed a sartorial story of my own. Ingenuity bred of pure envy is always a recipe for success! Stay tuned for the fruits of my labor as I will be posting my interpretation of fall's best trends throughout the week.

In the Nude

Alas, my love/hate relationship with mani/pedis continues. I have had a steady stream of amazing finger paint jobs lately so it was inevitable I would encounter a less than stellar session, and last night I came face to face with one sassy sister at my fave nail salon. The bitter cold of this wintry SF summer has forced me to accept that summer has come and gone and so has the appropriateness of electric colored fingers and toes. So my Milk + partner in crime, D, and I chose fall inspired hues for our tips. D went to the dark side with a deep wine color and I decided to go grandma chic with a mauvey nude by OPI. I have been digging Rihanna's long lady-like nails lately, so I wanted to keep mine lengthy to really accentuate the Golden Girls vibe I was shooting for.  The pressure of choosing the perfect color, paired with the endless choices of nail shapes and lengths was almost too much for us to take, the only thing that could ease our anxiety was a good kiki-fest and with all that gossip comes some uncontrollable hand movements. My manicurist was none too pleased when I smudged my nail during a particularly deep and meaningful convo with D about where we would be spending our Fashion Night Out, but she really let me have it when we were discussing our mutual love for faux leather. When my ring finger twitched at the mention of my latest obsession, leather shorts, she shrieked, "Oh Honayyyyyyyyyyy! You're gonna mess up your nail again!" This scolding totally ruined the flow of the convo but luckily not my nails. They look great and will be the perfect compliment to the neutral toned duds I have picked out for FNOSF!

Silk Top: Zara

Rings: (ring finger) David Yurman, (middle) Brandy Melville (pinkie&pointer) Vintage



Big Haute Boyfriend Jeans

The funny thing about boyfriend jeans is that boyfriends, in general, do not like them. They are big, baggy and although they may be haute they aren't hot in the traditional sense. 

Boyfriend Jeans: Zara

Leather Jacket: Vintage

Tank Top: Brandy Melville

Clutch: Louis Vuitton

Shoes: Forever 21

The second I put my new Zara selvage denim boyfriend jeans on my actual boyfriend grumbled, "Awwww, where'd your butt go?".  These jeans are a woman's fantasy, they make butts disappear, and for that exact reason they are every man's nightmare. I absolutely love mine and am literally obsessed with riding 'em high and cinching them with a belt. I wore them out on Saturday for date night with my boo and although he wanted to send a search party out for my ass, he eventually warmed up to them and loved the fact that, thanks to my androgynous denim, my derriere was now a highly concealed secret only he knew the contours of. I paired my new loves with a black tank, my black leather jacket, and a chunky pair of 70's style wedges.

We chose Luella for dinner where we had amazing wine, deep conversations about Tom Hanks and after a few drinks I actually convinced Ryan that Wilson the volleyball had won best supporting actor for Castaway. I wanted to be a complete wino and subsist on my Cabernet Sauvignon for dinner, but man cannot live on wine alone and I  ended up pigging out on everything because their food is so bomb. My boyfriend jeans allowed me to indulge in some tasty eats (ricotta filled donuts with lavender honey!) without instantly popping the button off my pants and feeling stylish all the while, win-win.

Hail Mary

self portaits are so artsy...

and necessary when your photographer leaves town.

Large Brass Cross Necklace: Melrose Trading Post

Turquoise Cross Necklace, Silver Cross Bracelet: Brandy Melville



As a real testament to my religious fixation as of late, I am currently listening to Neon Bible by Arcade Fire while writing this post. Jesus has always been my homeboy and my obsession with religious themed jewelry dates back to my Catholic schoolgirl days when I desperately wanted to wear my rosary around my neck as a compliment to the tiny gold cross I donned in support of my main man J.C..  This usage was frowned upon by the nuns, and other clergymen,  at my school because apparently the rosary is for praying not for accessorizing. My passion for the cross was reignited this spring on a trip to Melrose Trading Post while in Los Angeles visiting friends. We were doing a frenetic pre-Coachella sweep of the place when I stumbled upon an amazing sideways gold cross necklace that was screaming my name. The fashion gods must have been smiling down on me because a few weeks later I was appropriately fitted for the second coming of Tupac during Snoop Dogg’s set on the last night of Coachella. Tupac rose from the dead WWJD style to sing me my all time favorite gangsta rap, Hail Mary. Since that mind-blowing night I’ve been oddly obsessed with the song  and I’ve continued to amass the religious inspired accessories. Brandy Melville has some great pious pieces at the moment, including this silver cross bracelet and turquoise cross necklace I just picked up. I like to see just how many sideways crosses I can wear at once and how that number directly correlates to the number of people that ask me if I am a devil worshiper or part of the Occult.

                                                                                   Tupac lives

Big Hair at the Beach

The beach is the perfect place to ponder my top knot philosophy...

The bigger the top knot, the warmer the head...

Thus it should follow...

I've got one haute noggin

 

Rad

Vintage sunnies and a massive bun keep me smilin through the cold

 Sunglasses: Vintage

Shawl: Origin Unkown (beyond the chest in the living room)

This past weekend Ryan and I pretended it was warm and ventured to his family's beach house.  Numerous sun dances and countless prayers for any semblance of summer weather were fruitless as we could not will the warmth. Alas, in the wise word's of Ernest Hemingway, "The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco."